"if i told you once, i told you a thousand times," said the cynical plasticman wearily, "no mooning the bitches."

Things my students have learned lately:

1. When something is bad, it "sucks ass".
2. When something is very bad, it "sucks major ass".
3. The phrase "f*** off" can be used by a teacher when the teacher is very tired & irritable and attempting to switch off a mobile phone that keeps on ringing.
4. The phrase "do they care?" is a rather effeminate way of saying "do they give a shit?".
5. The word "pot" is slang for marijuana.

Other things my students have learned lately:

1. The parallels between the Vietnam War and the second Gulf War and, leading on from that,
2. Why "Full Metal Jacket" and "Born on the Fourth of July" are good movies to watch.
3. The pros and cons of globalisation and, leading on from that,
4. Why selling out to The Man is a good thing if you want to crush The Little People.
5. What a Moebius strip is and, leading on from that,
6. Who M.C. Escher was and why mathematicians & people that smoke a lot of pot tend to like his pictures.

What I have learned from my students lately:

1. Treat 'em like they have a brain & they might just use it.